Saturday, October 30, 2010

Happy Nevada Day!

I think actually Nevada Day was yesterday, but I know the parade is today. This post will have one awful paragraph, and the rest will be full of kindness.

Awful Paragraph

On Wednesday night I took the bandages off my chest. R said he would assist me but I did not want both of us to pass out. As it was I nearly passed out and he had to help me anyway. I had somewhat tried to prepare myself to see the long harsh scars with staples in them, but it is different seeing them on yourself. The discharge instructions are clear that it is a dramatic emotional process, so we waited until the kids were in bed and my mom was taking care of the Baby. The cuts are so severe looking, which I think is good in a way because cancer is such a severe thing. Severe and harsh though are not words that I generally use to describe myself. It is hard to reconcile what I see with how I feel. What has helped is compassion for myself (was it President Uchtdorf who talked about the importance our relationships with ourselves?) and the knowledge that scars change over time. What I see today is not what I will see next week after they take the drains and staples out, or the week after and so on.

The first day I came home from the hospital I thought all the cups tasted too much like plastic or soap. My dear husband let me know yesterday that when I came home I tasted like plastic from the anesthesia mask, but he was glad to kiss me anyway. I told him I will get plastic tasting lip gloss and he can enjoy it all the time.

L and C are enjoying all the letters from relatives. They are so excited every time. Plus every letter they get C says is the nicest letter he has ever gotten. One family wrote us letters for FHE and I got a nice picture from my niece where she spelled not only her name, but mine as well.

My visiting teacher and the R.S. President brought over some freezer meals that the teachers at L and C's school prepared. Many people brought over flowers (the YW, the Bishop, my neighbors, my visiting teaching partner, I hope I remembered everyone). R claims one of them smells like sagebrush right before it rains.

Someone was acting out family history when she sent L and C a little something to buy a treat. It reminded me when MJ's grandma gave him a little bit of money, and when she was chastised for wasting her money on her grandkids she said it was one of her joys to to do that. (I think those were the people involved in the story)

A few nice ladies are encouraging my mom and letting her talk about all the crazy stuff and sent their love with her. Then Pop-Pop came up last night. He was willing to bring things up for people like the can of Similac from the neighbors. We asked him who sent the other stuff up and he said he did not know it just kept arriving at the house. Thanks Henderson! He is also a good diversion, because if he is here that means more Halloween festivities are about to begin.

Today we got our first Similac coupon. It made me cry because of the love sent with it. This coupon came all the way from Minnesota. Along with the coupon my aunt sent this adorable booties that she knit. We are grateful and humbled by the thoughtfulness.


  1. Hi Jenny,
    I am your cousin Brian Matthews' wife, Sarah. I just had a baby in August and have about six $3 off Enfamil formula coupons. I know you are using Similac, but I just thought I'd see if you wanted these Enfamil ones as well. Our email is if you want me to send them to you.

    We are keeping you and your family in our prayers.

  2. I'm not sure if you follow this blog or not, but this was the one I was talking about the girl taking the oral chemo

  3. Sarah, first congrats on your new baby! Maybe sometime the two babies will meet up at a family reunion. We have not tried the Enfamil. I am a little hesitant in trying something else right now in the midst of our craziness. We appreciate your prayers.

    Holly - I do not follow that blog yet I am too busy trying to find out what free things are happening in Henderson.