Wacky Wednesday

We often bought milk on Wednesday because there is a store that has a sale on wacky Wednesday. On this Wednesday things lined up better than milk at a good price.

First I had a good night's sleep. Which made the morning visit from some relatives that much more enjoyable. I have the sweetest nephew ever. Now hanging in my room I have verifiable 200 heart proof, plus on my dresser I have some pictures he drew as well. I loved hearing the cousins laughing together and visiting with my in-laws. It made me forget how tired I was, luckily my sister-in-law remembered(she is so kind) so I could go rest.

Later that day Mario came from NY to take some black and white pictures of our family. He brought someone to hold my water for me between shots, others to help Baby keep her hands out of her nose and her happy face looking towards his direction, to go ice fishing with Baby when her shots were done, someone else to leave a delicious dinner, someone to make the weather nice so we could go outside, and even someone to plan our joint birthday party. No one could have planned the time of day, how I was feeling, the nice weather, the awesome support staff better. It all went together so well. Mario even gave R and I a few Polaroids at the end. I am so grateful to him and his support staff.

Baby was on high silliness during this time. She told Mario he looked like Pop-Pop and my uncle that he was her dad. Mainly I was glad that she felt comfortable enough to talk to them at all. Pop-Pop bought Baby a doctor's kit and she has used it on me several times. She had made her own homemade one before. She told both the aide and RN/case manager that she fixed her mom now.

My aide came over and said I looked much better. The case manager came over and told me the new social worker should come next week. This social worker has a background in pediatrics so hopefully she will be a better fit for our family. She also explained more about the medication and how often I can take it.

Late Night Wake Up Call

Monday and Tuesday morning were a reminder that I am still very sick. When my aide came over to help I was very willing and needing to have her help me get ready for the day. Her years of experience and gentleness helped me feel comfortable. She had me do what I could and she just calmly and kindly did the rest. We discussed what could be done so I would not have to have a night or morning like that again. Then after tucking me into bed to get more rest, (I was telling L about this later and she said she wanted an aide too.) she went and did stuff for Baby. When my aide does stuff for Baby more so than when other people do stuff for Baby it makes me feel like I am involved in doing it. Baby climbed into bed with me and watched her Kindle until my cousin came. Then Baby happily slid off the bed and went ice fishing in the backyard while I slept more. My mom continued getting the house clean and ready for the holiday as well as other projects, like when I wake up worried we won't find out gloves because they are all still packed away. Baby came in and we had lunch together and a nice visit with the cousin before she went to go play with her girls.

L and C came home from school and my dear Primary Presidency brought us dinner again. My favorite time of day is snuggle talk time when all my kids are home. Later that night my cousins came over, and I loved seeing them again! I like to visit while I still can. One small kindness that I really appreciated is beforehand I had told them what time I usually go to sleep after my last meds of the day. Without me even asking they kept track of the time and excused themselves.

There are so many things that I am grateful for that come at the right time. For example, last Saturday Baby was really wanting to play with me and I was really needing to lay down. The doorbell rings and there is a craft kit from Minnesota. Baby opens it and we look at it and see what we need to do. Then C, his cousin, and Baby finish the craft kit (shadow puppets and kalidescope?) while I rest in my bed. They also plan a play with the shadow puppets. They come in my room and I get to hold the flashlight on the wall while they do their play. Yay, a fun creative activity I can help with but not very demanding time or energy wise. Things like that happen so often - I am grateful for those helping out our family in so very many ways.

Non Denominational Chaplin Visit

Today I met with my Primary friends again or the lovely ladies of the Primary Presidency. Baby sat behind my chair looking at the Kindle Fire most of the time during our visit. She was very clingy today. It was a nice visit with them, they are so sweet, and I am glad the Primary is in their strong capable hands. It is a miracle we all are in Presidency together (since both the secretary and I had both just moved in) and that we get along and have worked so well together and they definitely carry on aptly in my absence. I remember those first few meetings and I was so concerned that they had all they information that I have in my binder, because I was worried something would happen to me. It has made this transition time easier for me to not worry about that now. I love those ladies!

My daily aide and case manager both came over too and continued building their relationships with our family. Baby even let the case manager carry her downstairs. Plus they both helped with some questions I had and suggested some additional comfort measures.

My mom braved the stores to get a few items. She said the only hold up at the store was the obviously confused spouses of the main Thanksgiving Day cooks looking for a specific ingredient. A friend dropped off dinner but I am sad I was unable to visit at that time.

The chaplin came over to visit just in time to see a stressed out Baby. The weather was nice, the sky was so blue, and so we all went outside and it lowered the stress level for both Baby and I. We had a nice talk with some crying and laughing. My previous visiting teacher Snow White came over and laughed with us. I have had many excellent visiting teachers, including my current ones who call every day and make my favorite cookies.

Both C and L came home from school looking forward to the new Studio C tonight.

The Center

Today I made it to sacrament meeting again. Both R and I were surprised that the talks were not about tithing and tithing settlement. All those years of the fourth Sunday in NV being tithing Sunday are hard to overcome. There are so many tired people like me who go home after sacrament meeting in our ward. We could fill a germ free bus. My family used get to church earlier and I would go around and talk to the Primary kids and their families. Now it takes me a long time to get ready and we are always late. I take many more naps before church than I used to.

L on the other hand is getting up and getting ready earlier each Sunday as she helps out at the life care center. We also use her as our secret spy and ask her what stake business there is each week before we go to our ward.

My aunt posted about my cousin and said the doctor went to the center of his brain during the surgery. She also said he is recovering without complications and should go home early next week to start his long recovery. The center of his brain thing intrigued me. Right now I think the center of my cousin's brain is determination. It reminded me of part of a quote by James Joyce "forged in the smithy of my soul." What is in the center of my soul, what has been "forged in the smithy of my soul?" Has it changed through my life and will it continue to change?

Bittersweet Saturday

My cousin came out of his surgery okay - Yay! Though it was hard to see the pictures of his strong body in the hospital and in so much pain. Prayers for recovery now.

His brother and nephew actually came up and helped finish the painting trim project. Baby adores the 11 year old nephew, and would follow him around all day. You can tell he has good parents because he is so respectful and good natured.

One of my aunts keeps coming up to help paint and I want to talk to her, but I sleep and do other things instead. She is a ninja painter just quietly working away on whatever needs to be done. I rarely see her, but I see her efforts and love everywhere I look.

My aunt and uncle(Santa Claus) and cousin who have staying with me this last week left today, the painting was done and to prepare for their family celebrations next week. I needed their love and counsel and support this week more than I knew when they originally planned on coming. What they sacrificed for my family was invaluable. I can't write anymore or the keyboard will short out.

R took the kids to their much anticipated Camp Kesem reunion. He said Baby was clingy but the other kids were off with their friends the whole time. Plus we remembered what we were supposed to bring for the potluck.

My sweet visiting teacher brought by her delicious star pressed ginger cookies again. My mom moved back in and even gave Baby a bubble bath that was enjoyed by all. Usually any type of personal hygiene by Baby is met by howls of resistance.

My wonderful college roommates came and we talked forever. I started to fall asleep while they were talking. It reminded me of staying up late talking in college and the same thing would happen. Except late in this instance was around 5:30pm and I had multiple naps throughout the day. Either way it was a terrific chance to see them and I love the amazing women they have become.

I just also want to say we appreciate the prayers and the flowers and cards and good thoughts and everything. It strengthens us and makes us feel not alone.

Bits and Pieces and Breathing

First let me tell you L saw a special early viewing of  "Catching Fire" on Wednesday evening with her dear friend. That was after her NAL (National  Academic League) practice. She came home early enough to be heart attacked by the YW in our ward. She has been trying to find a Christmas dress with my cousin, and finally found one yesterday after doing a fashion show at our house. I think she might be getting the cold that R has. She loves her new room and that Santa Claus has been helping fix all the little things in it like the door knob. He even rescued her one time from a closet that was trying to kidnap her into another dimension.

C has been busy with band practice. His recycled instrument band turned into a real instrument band that was asked to play at the 6th grade Spring Dance. Earlier this week he told us his favorite cookie was pumpkin chocolate chip which surprisingly we had not yet been given. Then his good friend's mom came over and she brought pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.

On Thursday when I got my haircut by a kind soul, Baby said "Now we are twins!"  Baby also enjoyed running around outside with my cousin, and just playing with her while she was here. It is the best play therapy with those that love you.

The painting continued with my wonderful relatives doing double, triple and quaddruple duty. Plus if you knew my relatives you would know they all bring light and love into my house while they are here. I really appreciate being surrounded by that love all the time.

We meet my daily hospice worker and she has the same name as my youngest daughter and endeared me and Baby both to her. It is very important to me that the hospice workers get along with Baby and my kids. The social worker we met was not so endearing and even when you are hospice you have the right to request a change to someone you feel comfortable with. That is what we are doing.

On Thursday night I had many disturbing hallucinations. So much so that I had a hard time sleeping. My beautiful cousin who teaches restorative yoga came over to guide me in learning some practices. First she helped me take deep breathes while in a certain position. I had pretty much given up on taking deep breaths the rest of my life because the pain was so sharp when I did. I could feel my body rejoicing with those breaths. I almost started crying when I took those first few breaths without pain. In addition she taught me this very effective breathing technique that calms the central nervous system. As she was explaining it I thought of my hallucinations and knew this was what I needed. I used it last night and had sweet dreams.

My cousin's wife brought some delicious homemade soup and bread. When I was at the Huntsman last week I dreamed about homemade soup and bread fearing I would never be able to eat some again. I have eaten this kind woman's tasty food before and it was like an answer to an unspoken prayer when she brought her meals over.

Throughout the day we were worried about my cousin. He is a big strong guy who came and helped with his son on Tuesday, and his wife actually has been the meal coordinator. We finally heard that he was admitted to the hospital and would be having emergency surgery this morning. Our hearts and prayers our with them today.

Wednesday and Thursday

More painting and tying up loose ends. For me that partly meant turning over some family history stuff I was working on to my aunt, and having her help me with others. My old ward helped so much with painting this day as I rested. They moved so much furniture in and out of rooms and painted and painted. My relatives painted my room in one day. R was home on Thursday so we could meet with the hospice worker.My advice to as much as you can now(will and so on) so you don't have when you tired and just want to spend time with your family later. My parents came up and more relatives on both nights to visit.

 Also a friend let me know Baby was always welcome at her house, R would not have to worry about finding child care.

L's piano teacher is so sweet in so many ways and brings Baby new play dough every time she comes. Which if you are at our house any amount of time you will probably have to play with her.

Another friend helped Baby work off stress in her bonus room playing with a bunch of boys.

My visiting teacher brought the best ginger cookies I have ever eaten in my life, and they have a star pressed in the middle of them. I am generally not a cookie fan, but these are so good.

My R.S president is letting my mom stay at her house for awhile.

My cousin is dealing with the schools for me and brought her wonderful friend to cut my hair at my house.

My other cousin took C to early morning orchestra so R and I could sleep in on his day off because R is sick.

My aunt knew I was afraid of being alone without me mentioning it.

My brother and sister in law brought C the perfect Buster Posey jersey, and some thoughtful things for our family.

My uncle(who Baby calls Santa Claus) and petite aunt work all day long to finish painting our house and help the household running smoothly. Plus they are good at winking at me or making me laugh at the right time.

We fight over the fox blanket my friend sent,and enjoy the flowers, and the food brought over, and too many to list and that really do help us to feel love in every moment of the day.

R and I went downstairs with C to look at how they arranged and improved his room. As we walked through the basement there were people quietly working hard to make our burden a little lighter at this time. It made me think of how often it happens, not just on this side of the veil, but probably even more on the other side too. Those spirits assisting us in ways we can't fathom. I am grateful for the opportunity recognize and appreciate a small part of the love and support and acceptance we are receiving in our life.