Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Birthday Bonus

I woke up the morning of my birthday early to take some pills. I realized I was surrounded by those I love and who love me. A good feeling on your birthday. The weather was snowy but it was warm in our home.

There were several birthday wishes and cards and tiny miracles. One tiny miracles was when a member of the ward found my dad's big truck keys in the snow on the way over to our house. Another was the magic my aunt made out of the family history information that I gave her and turned it into Family Ordinance Requests for when C goes to the temple for the first time. I am hoping others on that side of the family will help him and L finish those names. Also another member of my family made prints and framed pictures from our family pictures we had done recently.

Finally my dear R made a beautiful video with pictures from our family. He did such a wonderful job at making me feel loved. There were so many well wishes and special videos and cards.

This week has been better health/comfort wise.Though last night I ended up freezing teeth chattering cold. Luckily my mom is the queen of hats to combat that sort of cold and hooked me up quickly.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, Vitals

Our Thanksgiving with our immediate family was relaxing spa like day with our favorite festive non Thanksgiving foods, football, and the parade. It was a calm family day.

The next two days were full of in law festivities. We had a full Thanksgiving dinner on Friday and then a got together again for my nephew's baptism on Saturday.

We thought Baby was sick from all the fun so when she threw up on Sunday we kept her home from church and did not worry about it.

Then for the next several days my vitals were off, I was extra sick and exhausted. It had bits of brightness shining through. I picked out a surprise for my kids, someone Christmas caroling from our ward brought their dogs who sang the theme from "Sponge Bob Square Pants" which still makes me laugh thinking about it. We received sunshine and soup and music from Dayton. A new social worker came over who listened most of the time, and my kids were interested in meeting. There arose an opportunity to send extra love to others. My mother-in-law was the official snow player with Baby.

Finally the moon, saltines, gatorade, and my vitals aligned. I felt like I was coming out of it. Then Friday I had a rough morning again. R was home and later that day we finished signing some important documents.

I was anxious this morning again not wanting to repeat earlier this week. Along with practical considerations my dad and R gave me a blessing which helped to calm the storm in my spirit and body.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Wacky Wednesday

We often bought milk on Wednesday because there is a store that has a sale on wacky Wednesday. On this Wednesday things lined up better than milk at a good price.

First I had a good night's sleep. Which made the morning visit from some relatives that much more enjoyable. I have the sweetest nephew ever. Now hanging in my room I have verifiable 200 heart proof, plus on my dresser I have some pictures he drew as well. I loved hearing the cousins laughing together and visiting with my in-laws. It made me forget how tired I was, luckily my sister-in-law remembered(she is so kind) so I could go rest.

Later that day Mario came from NY to take some black and white pictures of our family. He brought someone to hold my water for me between shots, others to help Baby keep her hands out of her nose and her happy face looking towards his direction, to go ice fishing with Baby when her shots were done, someone else to leave a delicious dinner, someone to make the weather nice so we could go outside, and even someone to plan our joint birthday party. No one could have planned the time of day, how I was feeling, the nice weather, the awesome support staff better. It all went together so well. Mario even gave R and I a few Polaroids at the end. I am so grateful to him and his support staff.

Baby was on high silliness during this time. She told Mario he looked like Pop-Pop and my uncle that he was her dad. Mainly I was glad that she felt comfortable enough to talk to them at all. Pop-Pop bought Baby a doctor's kit and she has used it on me several times. She had made her own homemade one before. She told both the aide and RN/case manager that she fixed her mom now.

My aide came over and said I looked much better. The case manager came over and told me the new social worker should come next week. This social worker has a background in pediatrics so hopefully she will be a better fit for our family. She also explained more about the medication and how often I can take it.

Late Night Wake Up Call

Monday and Tuesday morning were a reminder that I am still very sick. When my aide came over to help I was very willing and needing to have her help me get ready for the day. Her years of experience and gentleness helped me feel comfortable. She had me do what I could and she just calmly and kindly did the rest. We discussed what could be done so I would not have to have a night or morning like that again. Then after tucking me into bed to get more rest, (I was telling L about this later and she said she wanted an aide too.) she went and did stuff for Baby. When my aide does stuff for Baby more so than when other people do stuff for Baby it makes me feel like I am involved in doing it. Baby climbed into bed with me and watched her Kindle until my cousin came. Then Baby happily slid off the bed and went ice fishing in the backyard while I slept more. My mom continued getting the house clean and ready for the holiday as well as other projects, like when I wake up worried we won't find out gloves because they are all still packed away. Baby came in and we had lunch together and a nice visit with the cousin before she went to go play with her girls.

L and C came home from school and my dear Primary Presidency brought us dinner again. My favorite time of day is snuggle talk time when all my kids are home. Later that night my cousins came over, and I loved seeing them again! I like to visit while I still can. One small kindness that I really appreciated is beforehand I had told them what time I usually go to sleep after my last meds of the day. Without me even asking they kept track of the time and excused themselves.

There are so many things that I am grateful for that come at the right time. For example, last Saturday Baby was really wanting to play with me and I was really needing to lay down. The doorbell rings and there is a craft kit from Minnesota. Baby opens it and we look at it and see what we need to do. Then C, his cousin, and Baby finish the craft kit (shadow puppets and kalidescope?) while I rest in my bed. They also plan a play with the shadow puppets. They come in my room and I get to hold the flashlight on the wall while they do their play. Yay, a fun creative activity I can help with but not very demanding time or energy wise. Things like that happen so often - I am grateful for those helping out our family in so very many ways.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Non Denominational Chaplin Visit

Today I met with my Primary friends again or the lovely ladies of the Primary Presidency. Baby sat behind my chair looking at the Kindle Fire most of the time during our visit. She was very clingy today. It was a nice visit with them, they are so sweet, and I am glad the Primary is in their strong capable hands. It is a miracle we all are in Presidency together (since both the secretary and I had both just moved in) and that we get along and have worked so well together and they definitely carry on aptly in my absence. I remember those first few meetings and I was so concerned that they had all they information that I have in my binder, because I was worried something would happen to me. It has made this transition time easier for me to not worry about that now. I love those ladies!

My daily aide and case manager both came over too and continued building their relationships with our family. Baby even let the case manager carry her downstairs. Plus they both helped with some questions I had and suggested some additional comfort measures.

My mom braved the stores to get a few items. She said the only hold up at the store was the obviously confused spouses of the main Thanksgiving Day cooks looking for a specific ingredient. A friend dropped off dinner but I am sad I was unable to visit at that time.

The chaplin came over to visit just in time to see a stressed out Baby. The weather was nice, the sky was so blue, and so we all went outside and it lowered the stress level for both Baby and I. We had a nice talk with some crying and laughing. My previous visiting teacher Snow White came over and laughed with us. I have had many excellent visiting teachers, including my current ones who call every day and make my favorite cookies.

Both C and L came home from school looking forward to the new Studio C tonight.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Center

Today I made it to sacrament meeting again. Both R and I were surprised that the talks were not about tithing and tithing settlement. All those years of the fourth Sunday in NV being tithing Sunday are hard to overcome. There are so many tired people like me who go home after sacrament meeting in our ward. We could fill a germ free bus. My family used get to church earlier and I would go around and talk to the Primary kids and their families. Now it takes me a long time to get ready and we are always late. I take many more naps before church than I used to.

L on the other hand is getting up and getting ready earlier each Sunday as she helps out at the life care center. We also use her as our secret spy and ask her what stake business there is each week before we go to our ward.

My aunt posted about my cousin and said the doctor went to the center of his brain during the surgery. She also said he is recovering without complications and should go home early next week to start his long recovery. The center of his brain thing intrigued me. Right now I think the center of my cousin's brain is determination. It reminded me of part of a quote by James Joyce "forged in the smithy of my soul." What is in the center of my soul, what has been "forged in the smithy of my soul?" Has it changed through my life and will it continue to change?

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Bittersweet Saturday

My cousin came out of his surgery okay - Yay! Though it was hard to see the pictures of his strong body in the hospital and in so much pain. Prayers for recovery now.

His brother and nephew actually came up and helped finish the painting trim project. Baby adores the 11 year old nephew, and would follow him around all day. You can tell he has good parents because he is so respectful and good natured.

One of my aunts keeps coming up to help paint and I want to talk to her, but I sleep and do other things instead. She is a ninja painter just quietly working away on whatever needs to be done. I rarely see her, but I see her efforts and love everywhere I look.

My aunt and uncle(Santa Claus) and cousin who have staying with me this last week left today, the painting was done and to prepare for their family celebrations next week. I needed their love and counsel and support this week more than I knew when they originally planned on coming. What they sacrificed for my family was invaluable. I can't write anymore or the keyboard will short out.

R took the kids to their much anticipated Camp Kesem reunion. He said Baby was clingy but the other kids were off with their friends the whole time. Plus we remembered what we were supposed to bring for the potluck.

My sweet visiting teacher brought by her delicious star pressed ginger cookies again. My mom moved back in and even gave Baby a bubble bath that was enjoyed by all. Usually any type of personal hygiene by Baby is met by howls of resistance.

My wonderful college roommates came and we talked forever. I started to fall asleep while they were talking. It reminded me of staying up late talking in college and the same thing would happen. Except late in this instance was around 5:30pm and I had multiple naps throughout the day. Either way it was a terrific chance to see them and I love the amazing women they have become.

I just also want to say we appreciate the prayers and the flowers and cards and good thoughts and everything. It strengthens us and makes us feel not alone.