Do you have a recliner?

Before we left the hospital they asked us if we had a recliner. When you have drains in you have to sleep only on your back and not roll on your side either. Also it helps if your arms are elevated to reduce swelling and pain. We do not have a recliner, but we have lots of pillows. I feel like I have slept as well as can be expected. They also recommend you wear soft button up shirts, because they are easier to get on. I have just been making do with baggy soft long sleeve cotton shirts.

The right side (the side they also took lymph nodes out) has been numb, and is only now starting to regain some feeling in my arm and chest. This is kind of good because it has not been in pain much and maybe is healing easier.

I had sort of an idea of how to treat my right arm because I had similar issues though on a smaller scale last time I had cancer. Both times I could not lift anything more than five pounds until after the first post op visit. Last time I did not have a 12 pound 3 month old so it was easier to obey those instructions. My mom thinks carrying the baby in the car seat from the car to the house is the equivalent of one mile walked. We might just leave the seat in the car. Of course L and C have better motor control and are gentle with me. The Baby is still developing and I hold her on my lap and feed her the bottle (with my arms supported by pillows) a little farther away from me than I would like. My mom is good about letting me do what I can and picking up the slack for all the rest of the baby care.

Yesterday I felt just well enough to be annoying. I was awake more, but could not really do anything. It was like I suddenly realized a thousand things I wanted to do, but could not so I tried getting those around me to do them, in addition to all the other stuff they were doing already. I was very impatient with myself, but my husband and my mom were much more patient with me. My behavior bothered me and I thought about it this morning and decided while it does not matter when the baby swing tray rests when it is not is use, I want it to be where it usually is because so much else has changed. We had a family meeting this morning, and I talked about my fear of so much change so fast. The kids both got into helpful hard worker mode, and I promised to look away more and accept change more. My husband and my mom are just continuing in taking care of all of us.

Maybe you can tell this morning I woke up in not the best mode. I was stiff and sore and tired, and thinking about all that is still ahead. After I had breakfast I remembered something that helped me last time - music. We listened to a few fun songs and it really helped melt those feelings away and let me focus on the good moments I am having now.