Parent Teacher Conferences

Last week was parent teacher conferences. I was probably too tired to go. I brought the stroller for two reasons. One was I knew I could not bring Baby in her car seat (too heavy) and the other was so that I would have something to lean on as I walked. Both L and C's teacher said I could do phone conferences or have no conference at all if I desired. I just wanted to show L and C that I still cared about what was going on in a big part of their lives. The teachers were very accommodating and responded positively to my email request that the conferences be back to back.

The day of their conferences C asked if I was going to bring Baby with us, because his teacher wanted to see her again. Since Baby was born I have only been in the school twice, once before school started to visit with his teacher from last year and the other time for Back to School night. Both teachers were happy to tell me L and C are doing well in school, and both wanted to hold Baby. L and C's teachers talked extensively about their writing. The school has school wide writing prompts and guidelines. In October they were supposed to write about a time they felt afraid. When I heard this at the first conference I was a little concerned. I was nervous because usually they talk about what they write about, but they had not mentioned this topic. Apparently L and C both have had other times when were scared, in addition to the current fear they feel. Both of their teachers praised their voices that showed in their writing. It was a good reminder that they have been afraid before and gotten through it.

Fast Sunday

The last Sunday in October our Bishop suggested three families to fast for our in our ward, us, the family with the boy still at Primary Children's Hospital, and an older lady. It is humbling experience to go to Fast and Testimony meeting where people are fasting for your family. Our ward is really small right now. A few times our Bishop has suggested we fast for people to move in. This last Sunday not only did we feel strength of the ward fasting together, but also two new families showed up at church.

Family Newsletter

My dad's family has a family newsletter that anyone can contribute to and is updated at the beginning of the month. It is always enjoyable to read the articles and family updates. Two articles made me reflect on my current situation in different ways.

I told a friend in my ward I had cancer. I could tell this information affected her deeply and she wanted to do anything to help. The next morning she called and told me about her favorite story from church history about the pioneers. That story reminded me I am not the first person in our family to face difficult trials and there are lessons to be remembered from their examples. Those examples of my ancestors have helped me face trials before and I can use the little bit of information I know about them to help me again.

Yesterday I was trying to figure out how I would be able to take care of Baby when I have chemotherapy. Chemo brain wrecks havoc on anything going on except what is happening in the moment. I was trying to think of the systems I would need, like now I try to write in red on the whiteboard when I or others feed her to help us keep track of her bottles and give us an idea of when she will need to eat again. I was feeling bad that it has to be this way and that I cannot take care of Baby like I envisioned. Then I remembered the legions of people including both grandmas who have offered to help with the kids and especially Baby. I am grateful that when I am facing these struggles others can lovingly help.

Exercises

I tried to do my hair in a ponytail this morning. My shocking lack of range of motion made a simple ponytail into a strenuous exercise. When they took the drains out they gave me this sheet.

from krames.com

I am not that excited about doing these exercises. Before I did them for the first time I thought they would be easy for a fast healer like me to do. You can probably guess that they were more difficult than I expected. There are the three on the front, (ball squeezing, crossed arm, broom stretch) and two more on the back (wall climb and chicken wing).

To make the exercises more exciting and desirable to do I changed the names of the exercises.

Ball Squeezing is now Stress Relief. I squeeze the ball and think of other things I want to crush.

The Crossed Arm lady reminds me of I Dream of Jeannie. You cross your arms high in front of you and then pull your arms back. I think of myself being a genie and I say "Shazam" when I grant a wish and pull my arms back.

The Broom Stretch to me sort of looks like getting ready for a Quidditch match. I channel my inner Gryffindor student as I stretch out my muscles.

At this point you are probably correctly assuming that my exercise time is quite the show for the family.

The Wall Climb is when you face the wall and climb your hands up the wall and hold the stretch. It reminds me of old time movies of people feeling the prison walls trying to find the loose to break out. Thus it is called Prison Break.

The name I hate the most is Chicken Wing. Do women who just had a major body changing surgery need to refer to their arms as chicken wings? In addition, I feel the name is misleading as the exercise is nothing at all like the popular roller skating rink and wedding reception number, " The Chicken Dance". The exercise ends in a pose with your hands locked behind your neck, in a pondering position. I think of think of this exercise as Meditation and I leave the poultry references behind.

Hopefully soon doing a ponytail in my hair will be easy again.

VENDA01 or a Happy Mystery

We have been getting formula coupons. I do not know how one of my cousins got so many to send us. She's amazing! We are so thankful for the many coupons that been sent. Some people are taking a different approach. On Monday the Fed Ex truck dropped off a case of Similac Sensitive formula. It was shipped to Jeni. The customer name was VENDA01. On Tuesday another case was delivered to a Jennifer, with the same customer name. We do not know who these anonymous VENDA01 people are, or if it the same person or what. Just wanted to let you know we got them and we are thankful, and Baby enjoyed some today. I think that it was what helped her sleep from 10pm to 6am last night. She knows people care about her.

Tests, Results, and a Goodbye

Monday while I was at the doctor being fascinated with the drains they also read me the pathology report. The expected news is that the cancer is again hormone negative and also HER2 negative. Actually the doctor said the HER2 was borderline, but read as negative. The good news was it had not spread to any of the lymph nodes.

On Tuesday I had more tests done to determine how much if any visible damage was caused by the chemotherapy I had done last time. The abdomen ultrasound seemed okay. As I was doing the MUGA test (heart scan video) the technician said it looked beautiful. I am taking that as a good sign.

Also on Tuesday, my parents left after the kids came home from school. My mom cleaned the house, and did all the laundry(bath rugs included) while my dad took me to do tests in the morning. L said, "Mom, she even cleaned the baseboards."It is a rare event when this happens. C exclaimed, "She made my bed look like a couch - yes!" We are so glad they could come up and help us out this time. The live in help, especially with Baby, was invaluable. Baby could not face them leaving so she used sleeping to avoid saying goodbye.

More Fun With Drains

Yesterday we enjoyed a pleasant Halloween. I do not know if I mentioned this before, but L was a gorgeous gypsy, C was a handsome Harry Potter, and Baby was a pumpkin. We had a tasty dinner of witches brew (stew) and pumpkin shaped biscuits. L decorated the table with a festive tablecloth, place mats, cloth napkins, and napkin ring holders. She loves to have a reason to set the table fancy.

Halloween also was the day my arm and right side started talking to each other, and sometimes they did not have nice things to say. The numbness has been slowly wearing off and finally it wore off enough that I noticed again when they touched I felt it. The feeling was not necessarily a nice one, but I am still glad to have that feeling again.

The baby has been totally taken over the bottle feeding. She puts her hands up on the bottle when we give it to her, and she lights up when she sees it. The downside is if we take it out of her mouth to wipe her little milk beard off our darling angel gets very mad. She makes sounds that I can only describe as baby swearing. The first time we were surprised at the violent angry noise that came out of her mouth, but now we just view it as another part of her personality.

Today was the big day for the doctor to take the drains and the staples out. My dear husband asked me to look at the ends of the tubes and see how they collect the fluid. This made my mom interested as well. My dad did not really want to know, and I did not care as long as they came out. I thought they had come out and told the nurse I did not really feel it at all. She said, "No, that was not it. You WILL feel it when they come out." Then she had me take a deep breath and then let it out and she pulled the two on the right side out. She was right I could really tell when they took them out. She showed them to me when I asked her to, and I was very surprised at how big the white part inside my body was. It was 6-8 inches depending on the drain plus 2 inches of the tube. Here is a picture of the tube from a medical supply website.


After describing them to my husband, they reminded him of French Drains. They are used for low wet areas in landscaping and he used to work in a landscape company. Here is one from a landscape company website.
I am just glad they are out and everything looked well at the doctor. Tomorrow I have a MUGA test (a heart scan) and an ultrasound of my kidneys. These will help the doctor with assessing my health for the next round of chemo.