Thanksgiving

In the morning we made a list of all the things we needed to do to prepare. My kids energetically attacked the list. I was still going slow, and Baby even helped. My husband and his mom steadily worked on as well. Then I looked out the window and there was a little girl looking in, my niece. The cousins and Grandpa were here. I don't think my father-in-law will let us borrow his wife again for a long time. Otherwise we had an wonderful time enjoying the meal and the company.

That night we had some good friends over to help us eat the pies. I was glad to see my in-laws and my friends meshing together well. Grandma read books to their youngest, the kids all played together, and so on.

The cousins stayed a little longer on Friday and played, while my husband and his brother worked on digging up some fence posts. It was pleasant. I knew I could not worry too much about how it would turn out, or my talk, or my lesson, because I was too tired to begin with. I just went with the flow and did what I could and knew those around me understood.

It Takes Time

On Monday I drove and picked the kids up. It seemed as if all the cars were going way too fast. My stomach hurt all day and that night I got sick. I was sick all night long, not comfortable sleeping, and the pain killers left with everything else. On Tuesday I was sick and could not hold anything down. It was miserable, everything hurt. Eventually I realized that it would end, I needed to just wait it out. I thought about all the people/things I was thankful for, I thought about my YW lesson for Sunday(Preparing for Change), I thought about my talk for Sunday (Be humble and follow Christ), and I thought about the people I was thankful for again.

Grandma had to do more that day, and she stepped up to the plate and hit a grand slam. The next day I was feeling better so we started preparing for Thanksgiving with pie and roll making. My husband took me to the doctor that day. He said things were healing up nicely and my husband made sure he knew about me being sick.

Finally he said I could try to pick up Baby. A week early! I did and it hurt some, but not too bad. I tried to be careful and not overdo it, especially while we still had live in help. It was sublime to pick up Baby when she cried.

Recover Quickly

On Monday morning there was a big difference from Sunday. I woke up and felt like I had healed during the night. I was still tired and sore, but it was a significant difference.

I felt so good I went to the YW activity on Tuesday. Their moms and one of my friends was there also to help the girls continue on in their skirt project. Mainly I just got to soak in their good cheer. The moms have been excellent at helping out, even though I know they are super busy in their own lives.

Wednesday we went to the doctor to get my drains out. Baby fell asleep on the way into town and so Grandma stayed in the car while I went in. The doctor had emergency surgery that morning and was backed up. The waiting room was packed with mostly patient people. The only anxious ones were an older couple. They thought they were whispering to each other as they commented negatively about the receptionist(she would like us to leave wouldn't she, but no we are staying and waiting)the other patients (what did she say, who cares) and healthcare in general (there wouldn't be an emergency if there were more doctors). I waited and then called to tell Grandma it would still be awhile. Baby kept sleeping. Eventually I got back and they pulled the drains out. I was surprised at how small they were. Much smaller than the ones from the mastectomy. Baby slept all the way back home and woke up as we pulled into the garage.

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I was doing well, but that day I realized that there was no way we were leaving home for Thanksgiving. Plus the doctor still banned the lifting of Baby. Gratefully Rex's family was flexible enough to say that if we could not come to Thanksgiving they would come to us. So we started planning.

Then we had an awful windstorm, and half our fence fell down. Sections from each side hurled through our yard as we watched in amazement from the house. That was also the day of the awful fire in Reno, so we were just glad the hurling pieces of fence were not on fire. Our neighbors checked on us. The wind calmed just enough for Grandma to pick the kids up without driving through the wall of blasting sand. Though it took her, L, and C to get the garage door closed.

Saturday we cleaned to house and my husband surveyed the fence damage. Sunday I actually drove to church. My mother-in-law went with me to the special R.S. were they passed out to us our copies of Daughters in My Kingdom. I felt like I could see the end of the pain.

The Next Grandma

My mother-in-law came out the night of the Primary Program. We all rejoiced at seeing her. The next morning my husband tried to take care me, Baby, and get himself ready for work, because he did not want to bother his mom.

During the day we talked and his mom graciously agreed to take over more Baby care and help her when she wakes up. She also began the round of carpool with L's changing daily pick up time, and cleaning, and cooking, and letting me rest. I'm sure my father-in-law misses her good care.

Both grandmas were careful and kind about Baby and I. They would pick her up and setting her by me on the couch so I could at least be by her.

I know I am really blessed to be able to have both grandmas come help us out. I feel like I have a good relationship with both of them and enjoy their company.

Primary Program

At one time I had said I did not see the need to wear drains to church. If I was that close to having had surgery where they put drains in I would just stay home.

That was before the Primary Program. It was L's last year. She had a talk, and played the piano for the Activity Day Girls song, "I Love to See the Temple." C also had a talk.

So I found some baggy church clothes to fit over the drains and bandages. I took some pain killers, my husband did not go to any meetings, we came in late, and sat in the back. It was a wonderful program of course.

L gave an excellent talk and then walked over to the piano to play for the next song. C was last of his class to talk, and ended up helping his friend right before them with the big words in his part.

I was glad to be there and see them, but also glad when we went home.

Friday Follow Up

The day after we got home I had a follow up doctor appointment, the kids had off from school and my mom flew home. The doctor said everything looked great. My mom caught her flight, and we were sad. My husband wrangled the kids. Baby did not understand why I did not pick her up, but let my husband carry her around instead.

My mom had cleaned the house before she left, so my husband and the kids just had a few groceries to pick up. I fitfully slept basically sitting up as the rest of the day swirled around.

Two main things helped during this time. The first was the 5k that I did with my friend strengthened my legs. As an unanticipated blessing my strong legs helped me do things that I had been relying on my arms/hands to do. I did not realize how much they could do. My legs were under utilized. Yay for our amazing bodies!

Second of course was my family, but especially my husband. He keeps me on track with the medicine, helped with the drains, and just so much else. L and C also uncomplaining helpers. Baby did her best to keep me entertained.

More Hosptial Fun

I stayed that night and the next one too. Meanwhile back at the ranch/home Baby was banging on our bedroom door saying "Mommy, Mommy" convinced she could make me come out. Also Baby was sleeping through the night. The same could not be said for those of us at the hospital.

The doctor told me the morphine reduces your desire to breathe. This stuck in my morphine addled brain. It made me think of things in my life now and in the past that I have let reduce my "desire to breathe" or constrain my life. Of course in the hospital they monitor you and when your oxygen gets too low for too long they hook you up with more. I know that the oxygen in my life is love. The same love that brings my mom up to comfort Baby, L, and C while we are gone. The love that made wish we could get home sooner than we did, and put my kids in most of my hallucinations. The love that I feel from my Heavenly Father as my husband reads scriptures by the bedside in the hospital.

We met a variety of nurses. We talked about different things, my kids, other ways of reconstruction, how dedicated my husband was, whether I would like to get up and walk and if I actually could. I threw up a variety of times, no matter what the medicine was. I thought it was funny when the nurse would ask if I had had this or that chemo nausea reducing medicine before. Of course I have, and I threw up anyway.

Eventually I kept things down, did not faint when I walked and got a handle on the pain. Then we got to go home.